Counselling
Counselling is one of the healing modalities which involves professional relationship between the client and the trained professional.
The Counselor with his or her passive as well as active participation aims at helping the client through active listening, talking, guidance and different non-invasive therapy techniques.
Counselling does not involve any psychological testing, medications or invasive treatments.
Counselling can be done for individual, two people or more than two people like group counselling or family counselling.
Counselling can help people deal with a variety of issues, including:
- Emotions – Anger, Depression, Fear & Phobias, Anxiety, Guilt, Insecurities
- Sense of Loss – Money/ Person/ Health/ Property
- School difficulties – Bullying/ Groupism/ Targeting
- Study Habits – Focus, Concentration, Attention Span, Memory
- Personality Issues – Lack of Confidence, Lack of Self-Worth
- Behavioural Issues – Bad habits like nail biting, Bed Wetting, Lying
- Eating Disorders – Bulimia, Anorexia
- Parenting problems
- Addictions like smoking, drugs, alcohol, gambling, money, food etc.
- Pre-marriage/ post-marriage and any relationship challenges
- Career changes
Individual Counselling – It involves a single client coming for his or her emotional or psychological, relationship, career, de-addiction, and financial issues to get clarity and find solutions.
The Trained counsellor listens to the client passively, notes down important pointers, patterns and the possible causative factors to join the dots and then actively discusses corrective changes needed with the client.
It sometimes involves few exercises or home-works to do, where the counsellor takes regular follow ups to mark the changes achieved.
It also involves therapeutical techniques to practice at home.
It does not involve any medicinal intervention from the counsellor.
Child – Parent Counselling – It primarily involves Child as a client. But it often so happens that to know the child, the counsellor needs to know the background of the child, the parental, familial or other authoritative influence on the child and its current issues.
Many a times the problem that the child is exhibiting is mere the reaction or reflection of either of or both parental behaviours. So, it is also aiming towards parental counselling separately to understand what is exactly happening.
The small child who does not know what emotions are, might not be able to express well or tell the situation. In such conditions, parental discussion comes handy to understand the child’s behavior individually or in terms of his relation with others.
It also helps to teach parents how to handle the situation, and parents often becomes co-therapists or individual clients to work on the influential factors of the child.
Children often expresses through their stories, arts, drawing and dreams etc. they become key features to understand the child well.
Relationship Counselling – It involves relationship with self/ love partner/ wedded partner/ parents/ siblings/ friends/ colleagues/ seniors etc.
Two individuals coming from different walks of life have different thoughts, emotions, beliefs and behavioural patterns which may cause misunderstanding or friction between the two in concern.
Counsellor talks to them individually as well as together to have the clarity of perception between both the parties.
Some tasks are given to do as a homework, individually as well as together.
Pre-wedding Counselling – Eternity promotes pre-wedding counselling not only for the groom and the bride, but also for groom’s and bride’s immediate families [especially parents] as marriage happens between two families, not just two individuals.
Dr. Shilpa realized that generations old, stubborn rituals, customs and belief systems can create unnecessary mis-understandings and pressures around weddings. If ultimate aim is the happiness for the couple, then flexibilities from both the families are expected, keeping the ego ride aside.
Eternity provides open platform for both the parties to discuss their expectations informally, so that their should be enough clarity to take right decision or to move ahead in relationship, and both the parties should really enjoy the most awaited happiness of their lives without any stress, tension, rage or remorse.
Family Counselling – It sometimes involves all individuals staying in one family or one house.
The reason for family counselling could vary from an individual to entire family setback or misunderstandings due to differences in the opinion which affect every member of the family differently.
In this set up, individual sessions can be done separately with every member and then one common session can be held having the clarity on the topic.
Emotional Empowerment
Emotions = Energies in motion, as wherever we go, we carry our emotions.
They are integral and very vital part of our existence.
They define us. They help us be. They are our expressions coming from our conditioning, experiences, setbacks and happiness.
They separate us, distinguish us from others. They are our identity.
Emotions are omnipresent. They are always present, obvious or latent.
Emotional empowerment can be understood and achieved only by understanding how we deal with our emotions.
Emotions, whether positive or negative, need to be expressed fully, in awareness. But in due course of life, we have learned to manipulate and compromise either our emotions themselves by denying their existence, or even if we have acknowledged them, by avoiding expressions of our emotions, in the fear of getting judged.
It depends on our upbringing to start with. We bio-mimic our parents and other family members knowingly and unknowingly. Some ways of expressions we inherit. Some we learn by observations from our surroundings.
But many a times, our parents and other care givers condition our emotions by restrictions of dos and don’ts, allowed and not allowed etc. Especially, we cannot express our so-called negative emotions. And we all start playing games with our mind creating our defences.
But, as we have learned to either suppress or deviate our true emotions from the reality, we often misplace our emotions or go out of place, out of proportion and out of time in expressing them. Slowly and steadily, we start expressing in particular pattern in particular situation, which in turn becomes our learned nature.
True divine self does not differentiate between good and bad.
It does not judge ourselves by our choices as our choices of behaviour comes from the experiences of this life or past lives.
Emotional empowerment is achieved by recognizing our true self, then acknowledging it without judgement, accepting, respecting and effectively managing our true emotions. It’s a self-awareness in its true sense.
At Eternity, first and foremost, in case taking session itself, we try to recognize the patterns our clients go through. Helping them becoming aware of their choices, their triggers, and impact of the reactions given in the form of thoughts and emotions.
Many a times as we are in denial, we fail to recognize the impact of the pattern. So, instead of judging the emotions as right or wrong, one needs to ask one’s self, “Is it working for me or not?”
How to recognize our true patterns and work around them?
- Becoming self-aware.
- Developing the ability to manage our emotions effectively.
- Being strong and resilient for challenges and setbacks.
- Organizing our bio-mimicking by choosing the ones consciously which work for us.
- Being mindful, aware of your patterns and taking your control back.
- Be in the present moment constantly.
- Keep analysing, introspecting self, reflecting on your day to day experiences every night, identifying patterns and deciding your plan to conquer the challenges.
- You can journal your thoughts and emotions. This documentation will help you to find your patterns.
- Learning to communicate well.
- Take help of the family, friends, mentors or professionals.
- Be kind to yourself. Be compassionate to yourself as you are with others. Do not judge yourself.
- In case of toxic patterns, learn to let go and forgive yourself for your choices.
- Learn to set boundaries wherever necessary. Its not evil to say ‘No’, whenever needed.
- Be clear about replacement of emotions. Keep positive attitude towards self and others. Seel joyful, happy, and fulfilling life.
- Learn different emotional empowerment techniques from the professionals.
- There is no shame to admit, take actions, and go to a therapist.
Emotions we need to work on for accepting and empowering by replacing powerful emotions
- Anger to acceptance
- Guilt to learning and self-forgiveness
- Fear and phobia to courage
- Anxiety to calmness
- Insecurities to faith
- Inferiority complex to self-worth
- Hopelessness and depression to hope and joy
Why is it necessary?
As we know our mind and body are two sides of one existence, one impacts the other.
If we don’t start working towards emotional empowerment, the suppression will reflect within in the form of diseases and disorders on mental, emotional, psychological and even physical self.
By working and organizing our emotions, we are not only healing the previous damage, but also preventing further damage.